This is the first point to be made: and the first action to be taken is to pull ourselves together. If we are all going to be destroyed by an atomic bomb, let that bomb when it comes find us doing sensible and human things—praying, working, teaching, reading, listening to music, bathing the children, playing tennis, chatting to our friends over a pint and a game of darts—not huddled together like frightened sheep and thinking about bombs. They may break our bodies (a microbe can do that) but they need not dominate our minds.
Speak for yourself using “I” statements instead of “you” statements
Don’t argue perceptions or facts
Don’t threaten abandonment in the face of conflict
Communicate in four sentences or less
Repeat what you hear them saying to make sure you heard it right BEFORE responding
Avoid critical remarks, blaming the other, or justifying your actions
Don’t worry about whether your partner is adhering to these guidelines–take sole responsibility for yourself and hold yourself accountable to healthy communication.
